Hey :

I have had a great Christmas season, I have had no problems at all with food, but I have been very careful, but have tried turkey, chicken, beef, Brussels sprouts , most veg's, tomato's(can't get enough tomato's)salad in a very small amount, and some nuts, no problems , Coffee does seam to be a problem, makes me shaky and feel bad and raises my blood sugar :(. But if that is all so far I'm happy. and I have been a very good girl and not tried chocolate, so sad but I can wait.

Wow almost Christmas Eve. this month has been a very busy , abit crazy , and amazing all in one this year.  I am now only thre weeks from Surgery and feel amazing, everyone says I look great, but I think it is mostly  just because I feel great , this time last year , I had major back pain and was the heaviest I had ever been.  the constant pain just wears you down, I love being up beat , I hate feeling down , it is not a normal state for me, I guess maybe its not normal for anyone. Anyway I am so thankful for great surgeons , two of them and I plan on making the most of my New life .Merry Christmas all . and good Night :)

Wow two weeks today since surgery and I feel great, and great full so great full, every thing seems new and fresh, I'm going to have a great Christmas. :)

Hey I went to my first Christmas party last night , I made what my son calls hippy eggs (deviled eggs with chick peas in them from eggface blog) and mini meat balls, both I could eat and I had a bit of fresh chicken , a bit of mash potatoes , some carrots , I took my own v8 juice and had a great party

Hey
Just want to check in and tell everyone  this has been a great surgery for me , I had surgery in June on my back and it was a bitch to come back(no pun) from and I was really worried about having to to it again , but I woke up and got up shortly after in recovery ,and walked around ,I could not believe I felt so good . I have walked alot (Dr Malik said the more you move the better and easier it will be) he also said that if you can stick to the fast without cheating it really makes the surgery easier and recovery easier, I drink that gross stuff for 37 days with nothing else , so I guess that helped to . I hope to never see glucernia again.
So I was in Victoria for five days after and went out almost everyday shopping and got my nails done. then got the ok to come home, I am a happy girl to be home,can't afford that city stuff.
I am eating everything that is on my list for the first two weeks and have no problem with eating at all yet, being very careful ( the crushed drugs are horrible) I can start eggs and toast well burnt(just the way I like it next week) can't wait , after a month of yuk , everything tastes so good .
All Christmas shopping is done, so I can relax.
So now on to Protein powder.... I only bought one kind and that is whey iso Burst orange cream. the flavor is not bad but the after taste is bitter and gross, I am taking it back. I just can't see drinking something that you don't like.
So I went to http://www.nashuanutrition.com/store/ and you can order samples of many many different kinds , five diff brands and lots of favors , so I phoned to make sure they send to Canada and ordered some , the shipping is a bit high but at lest you can try the stuff with out  buying a gallon jar of it. I will let you know how they are.

Well home again and unloads my very loaded car, Come on Santa , we are ready, no more shopping and most is wrapped ready for the baking and putting up the tree , I'm very excited this Christmas , I have so much to be happy for.
Perfect blood sugars today again and It just makes me giggle to think about this chance for a much healthier life . on that note ......good night.

Home again Home again Jig-giddy  Jig-giddy.

Up bright and early and off to the doctor and then back to Donna's load my car ( tons of shopping) and  head off down the highway short stop in Nanaimo.

Good Morning
One more sleep and I get to go home to my own bed yaaaaaaaaaaa, I am home sick for sure, tho my friend has been amazing at having me here and she is fun to be with , I want to go home and get ready for Santa , put the tree up, bake something and just be home , can't wait, I'm leaving right after my appointment at 9am. Going to Costco today :)

Good evening
You know when some one is heavy they never tell you their weight, including me, well I never told anyone how much insulin I was taking, because I knew that if you knew anything about it you would know, it wasn't working very well and I must be doing something wrong . Someone would asks me, well how much lantus do you take, I only take (how ever much) I always felt like I was losing a bet or something, cus I know things they eat that I hadn't had for years like juice, or hard candies, any simple sugar is poison to me, or beer or wine. I'm not quite sure where this is going, just bloggin I guess. Had another pretty great day .

My menu for the day cream of wheat with 1% milk , kosy shack pudding (no sugar) sweet potato with carrots and beef broth and cottage cheese, Apple Juice :) water, small amounts all day long, its like I think about food alot more right now than ever.

Blood Sugars today 5.3 , 5.3 , 6.0 ,6.7 
Oh ya I forget to say that is with out insulin. I still take a small shot of long term insulin at night but should not need that soon as well. Amazing Hey.

Hey
I didn't sleep well last night , but i don't sleep well at someone else house normally. I was up early and went to a craft fair, did very well but forgot to take something with me to eat, or glucerna and I was a little worried I might need something, maybe low sugar or something , but all was fine , came back and eat fruit and cottage cheese( about a 1\4 cup)and rested for awhile, then went to to Tillucum mall for a bit , it is right up the road and back for sweet potato with beef broth and cottage cheese and now trying to get some water in , timing is hard , as no drinking with eating.

Well had my Surgery on Tuesday , this is Friday night 1030pm.
 I feel great.
My surgery was first at 7:20, Dr Malik went over everything with me in the prep room, he was not sure if he would do a sleeve or full by pass because of scar tissue from an old surgery , in the end he did a full by pass, then in the surgery room , he asked me to say my name and ask everyone in the room to say their part and if they were ready. then some lovely gas and lights out. I woke up at ten to 12:00 with lots of pain, had some lovely drugs and that really is the only pain so far. Nothing by mouth till the next morning after the leak test( very gross but quick ) then back to my room and 1 oz of water, best thing I have ever tasted, then one every hour till about 11pm (water with apple juice) then sleeping and cream of wheat for breakfast, I was very careful of that , but not problem and I was out that afternoon(thursday) , I have to be in Victoria till Wednesday. I have had yogurt, fruit , cottage cheese, and very gross crushed pills so far. My Belly is swollon up but really not to sore .

Well Surgery was Tuesday and this is Friday night, I have been out of hospital for two days, I feel pretty dam amazing, I don't want to say this is easy but it is so much better than I thought it would be. I'm at a friends place in Victoria and have to stay here till Wednesday, just to made sure all is fine.  I have had cream of wheat , yogurt, milk, fruit, carrots and its all good, and crushed meds yukk :(  

Bowel prep oh Joy! I'm not really sure why as I haven't eaten anything for 36 days . I guess just in case you cheated, I did not cheat, can you believe that , amazing I think, my pants are starting to fall off.

We are all set up at  a friends place and went and seen the nutcracker this afternoon, it was abit long for me, then a walk on Ogden point , and me with out a camera, I will have to go back tomorrow . Sassy loves it here, so all is good. I'm not really scared anymore, just waiting now.

Well I'm on my way at 9am , I'm very tired but probably won't sleep tonight , I have a great new book to read ,  and I'm ready to rest and recover , everything is done , look out skinny bitches, I'm headin down skinny lane.

"The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to
release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the
  clinging and disappointments of the past that bind our
spirit."

Today I am releasing my spirit from the ties that bind it so if you feel the ground tremble, a soft breeze ruffles your hair or maybe a shimmer of light in the sky that is just a bit of my past being set free.

Well It is Day 30 of Glucerna and I have manged to not cheat, and I have to say mostly it has been easy , but the last few days have been hell, I am so over this.
I want toast and pizza and Coffee and I could go on and on , I almost cried when my husband brought home pizza for supper tonight, up on till now I haven't felt Hungry , but now I'm feeling hungry  too.  Three days to go, it would be so stupid to break now after doing this for 30 days , oh ya I'm not sure how  I did it but I start four days earlier than I should have ,dumb dumb.
I'm starting to get pretty nervous too , upset tummy , that and the food thing really makes me think just forget the whole thing and go out for Dinner. LOL...Not. Now is just wait time I guess, going to Victoria early to see the Nutcracker with friends and just be a tourist for a day .  Oh ya and the up side is I got all my Christmas cards sent , shopping done , presents wrapped , house cleaned , and packed ready to go , oh I forgot dog bathed , then she found a rotten fish an eagle dropped in our yard and I had to bathed her again . She is not going out with out a leash til we leave.I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess and a bit teary. I will be fine. Cathy

Had a great day today, went to the huge craft fair in Parksville , so many people and a lot of very nice stuff , very talented people on Vancouver Island. Then went out to lunch with my niece, well s;he had lunch and I had water, and it really was a piece of cake , no problem at all, then off to the Sally Ann for some bargain hunting, got some stuff for the motor home , and a glue gun. then home again home again jiggitty jig.  Fun day over all. And no Cheatin yaaaaaaa.

Yaahoooooooooooo. Day 25 of the glucerna  fast and 22 pds gone ,  10 days to surgery.

No sleep for me this night, I have a pain in my side like you get from running to much, I think I might have pull a muscle dancing with the Dr Oz show , I know how sad is that, it was fun and I just wiggled to much I guess . I took some Tylenol and we will see if it works. Guess I'm not ready for dancing with the stars yet.
I have been cooking apple butter in the slow cooker , we have many apples to use up, and I feel so much better when I'm working in the kitchen . this is an amazing recipe and if it works out i will post it . No cooking on the stove and burning it. just in the slow cooker over night and can it.

Wow  Two big Storms one behind the other. I got Sassy s   hair cut the other day and she will not go out side, even with a coat on(we don't do dog clothes if we can help it), and she is wrapped up in a sleeping bag on the sofa all I can see is eyes.
Well this is day 24  no food and now no coffee and no estrogen (Had to stop that before surgery) and everyone in my house is still alive and well. I really am amazed that I can do this. It is not easy , it is hard sometimes, right now I am dreaming about going to the store and buying cooked chickens and pot pies even kidney pies , I would never eat a kidney pie ever, not even now.  Some days are very long and I cry about everything on TV,  I'm still recovering from back surgery and if I'm not careful I hurt myself and I'm really wanting to work harder,  very frustrating , I have good energy and I'm so happy about that, everyday is in slow time for me right now . I go to the Doctor tomorrow and I will weight in and see how much i have lost.

Hubby and I both have the bug, we like to share like that, he is tougher than me , I take cold meds and read and sleep and he takes nothing and works though it. We will both live.

Some time in the last two days I have cut my self down from 1200  Calories to 900 calories, I didn't mean to do that yet but it just happened , and amazingly I'm fine with it.
I realized today this is a pretty amazing feat, Just to go on a fast of any kind and stick with it is very tough, and glucerna for me is just gross, I don't like sweet things to begin with. I'm pretty  proud of myself for sticking to this, good Job Cathy.
I have not weighted myself , I'm getting curios to know how much I have lost but I don't want to get hooked on standing on the scale everyday and I don't own one. I go to the doctor on Friday and will weight in then.
I think the biggest heart break I have ever(ok not ever) had was dieting and working out all week and gaining weight instead of losing. I want to be happy with how I feel and look not the number. 

Well the bug has hit and I am runny, achy, bitchy, sneezy , but on the other hand not thinking about food today.

Well this is really getting harder, the smell of food makes me sick , My nose is working overtime.
I also have had a headache all day and earache , it feels like a bug but hasn't got any worse .  I guess my allergies are not food related, because I still have them .
Bla bla Bla , I really don't want to write this stuff. But it is what is going on now .  Days are very slow and I really look forward to going to bed because , I can still sleep well. well I would like to be all sweetness and light , but I promised myself  I would do the good bad and ugly. If I'm going to keep a blog , might as well be the truth.

Well made it though the craft fair, almost didn't go, but in the end sitting here all by myself is worst, I bought some cookies for Jim and had him take them out to the office so I don't have to see them . Cooking is kind of werid as I'm kind of scared of being around food to much , but my husband is working full time and I'm here all the time so it is unfair to leave him on his own .  So He cooks sometimes and I made a big pot of soup to last him acouple of days . Yesterday I made meatloaf(I hate meatloaf) so I thought it would be easier and it was, but the funny thing is about not eating , meatloaf smelled dam amazing!  I never eat any and I felt better having something for Jim when he got home , but I was drooling, no doubt about it, this old girl could have learned to like meatloaf last night.

Then Sassy and  I went for a drive in the New  motor home(ok ok new to me) found some sunshine to sit in, and felted a bit better.
Had to give up coffee yesterday, now no coffee, no food and estrogen, thanks god I don't own a gun!
I am in the middle of making pillowcases for Christmas presents , I'm not going to be able to do much Christmas shopping so I thought I would do some fun Pillowcases , just to show I was thinking about it. This is the first three. Cathy

Hey Blog
Feeling a bit low, do I have to be all nice and sweet, can't do it today, All I can think about is food, I'm not Hungry, just lonely  for food , the honeymoon is over and I was thinking of all sorts of ways to pick a fight (with this diet)how stupid is this (I have lots of friends that think that),   just a waste of time , I should just get on with life and forget this dumb idea. I really wish I had someone close by to talk to .  All that just for food. oh Ya Christmas craft fair tomorrow. oh Joy........c

Hi




This is day 17...wow 17 days no food. That is pretty amazing, I went to Town today, had a bunch things to do and I have been staying home way to much for me, I had a pretty good day , but old habits are a really head game, I normally stop for a cheap bowl of wor wonton  soup, after getting everything done with no problem then I drove by the soup place, and I started a big head game with my self , Who would know , just once, its only soup.
I'm happy to say the answer to who would know is me.  I'm pretty proud of being able to do this and I want to feel proud all the way though. 
Years ago(23years)when I quit smoking after about the first year I really wanted to start again, I had one drag off a smoke and I knew  I would be smoking full time again if I did not make it a clear rule .  NO smoking around me . Now I can be around it and well it is discussing  I know I would never have a smoke again and I am very proud that I was strong enough to do it, it was very very hard and the only way it worked for me was to not be around smokers. 
Food is different. You can't not be around it.
My whole life has been about feeding people.  Cooking for lots of people makes me feel good , I cook for 600 people at the Music-fest every year for fun.
This will be a huge learning curve for me. Thoughts of do I really want to do this run thru my head sometimes and the answer is still yes , I am excited, can't wait to start a New life style.

Nov 16.11
Good Morning. Well I'm doing pretty, no very well, no food just that really gross thick Glucerna, and coffee in the morning, plan on giving that up soon.
Brushing my teeth all the time, but not hungry at all, no cravings, its pretty cool really .
On the other hand ( and there is always an other hand isn't there) my son and I went for a drive in the new mini and stop at the store , I was just hanging out with him and went in with him. I found it very overwhelming, everywhere I looked was stuff I can't have , no yogurt, no chicken, so why  be there, and he was buying cooked chicken and cookies.  I went out side and waited.  I have been sticking pretty close to home ,  the more I go out the harder it is I guess.
On the blood sugar front , I have cut my insulin in half , both types and blood sugars are 7.6 to 5.5 , I can't believe I could do this. I have to be very careful to make sure I have Glucerna left to drink before I go to bed as I am lower at night and I'm scared I will get a low in the middle of the night. 
It's really cold here , I have been walking everyday and my little dog is loving it .

As we had to put our big guy down the new habit is really good for Sassy as she is missing him alot , so walking her on the leash is new to her she really looks forward to it. I have really great trails here, but we have a bear right now , so I'm a Little bit afraid to be walking in the woods with a snack on a leash ( I miss the big guy too, he looked after us), so we stick to the road for now.  I hope to find a walking partner( someone who is a bit slower than me who I can feed to the bear if I need too, Just Joking) Anyone interested?? LOL 

Better Day

Hey  today was a much better day , better blood sugars, and I bought an old Toyota motor home , today , not much to some people but I am tickled Pink. I  Named her Molly and I can't wait to till spring so we can really get to know each other.  I have a lower back ache today and abit of a headache , hope its not something nasty.

Nov .13 .2011
I am a  diabetic . I am over weight. In less then a month I will be having a surgery that will be helping me with both. No more insulin, I can't even wrap my brain around it.
Right now I can't eat for a month and I'm on about day , I don't know, day forever it feels like, but its only been a week or so , only ensure or glucerna and milk. everything we do is around food music night at the pub for dinner , supper dinner out , have friends over for ...ya you got the idea.
I'm not hungry, and have cut my insulin down allot , I thought i had a handle on  how much food I was eating before , no sugar ,no sweets  I changed my whole way of eating when I need insulin , but now being on a liquid controlled diet, if you are have sugar problem , this might be the way to get a handle on it. No fun being had here but great blood sugars .
And I have to say I really like seeing 5.5 or even 6.1 for blood sugars on a regular bases.
On the other hand my husband is out to supper with his brother right now and well I love time to myself, I'm feeling very left out, I don't want to tell him because he is working very hard to be what ever I need him to be for this time, and I don't want this to be a huge thing that takes over our life's. I told him to go and I meant it. But that's how I'm feeling, When i was looking for blogs to read, I wanted to hear how it was day to day so I hope to do that here.  Food is so much more important then we really know until you try to remove it. see ya all soon Cathy

Good Morning
What a great day, sittin at the beach house with my coffee and Family. And no pain in my back, I can't ask for anything more , thank you god for a good life. Sweet teenagers, great energy and painting horseshoes was alot of fun , oh ya cooking smores.

Well I have been thinking about blogging all day , learning how to get around on the site , putting pictures up, and thinking about what I might have to say that people might want to talk about with me. I guess what interests me right now is the changes in the mid east ,it must be so scary for families to be living in a country that is going though so many changes. On one hand they are happy to no longer have dictators , but what do they have? , and how do they keep their families safe while the change is taking place. It must be a very scary hard place to be living there right now , I think about that alot , when I take my dogs for a walk in my lovely peaceful forest trail, and think about how lucky I am to be born in Canada at this time in the world. I truly am bless.

First post Ever

Ok here we go this is my first post ever . My name is Cathy. I am 53 years young , married, one son living , Jessy and one son deceased. Jessy is 21 and just starting to get his life together and figure out his life . I live on Beautiful Vancouver Island and love it here. One of my newish hobbies is taking pictures of my Island, my pets and anything that strikes me at the time , I would say this is a passion for right now. I am a Nurses Aid ,who is at home waiting for back surgery , and it is proving to be a very long wait. I am trying very hard to keep my spirits up and not let this drag me down, some days this is a hard thing to do . the pain is very bad most days. I will not be talking about it very offend if I can help it. I LOVE LIFE! I'm a techie of sorts , love computers, music , gadgets, can't wait to get a new tablet and love learning new things, digital scrapbooking, new ways to take pictures , new lens for my camera. I love God. I love self help and learning about how to help my self . I love a great cry to clean out the pipes....lol, and I think I'm going to love blogging.